


Parish Twice (In the Ice)

by Angst_BuriTTo



Series: Pain (Born Into) [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Amnesia, Assassination, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Cryofreeze (Marvel), Cryogenics, Gaslighting, Gen, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Off screen hinted child death, Torture, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 21:04:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18432086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angst_BuriTTo/pseuds/Angst_BuriTTo
Summary: The Soldier thinks, at one point he must have had a family. must have known warmth.He is Ice.





	Parish Twice (In the Ice)

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The Soldier thinks that once, he must have been warm; must have had someone give him a blanket when he was cold and gave him soup when he was sick and held his hand when he was in pain.

 

The Soldier thinks that at one point, he had a mother. Had a father.

 

(A sister)

 

(…?)

 

But the Soldier cannot remember. The Soldier does not remember warmth, nor comfort, nor the love and care of a parent.

 

He is always cold.

 

(He freezes-)

 

 

They call him The Winter Soldier and he doesn’t have to wonder why.

 

(He is _cold_ -)

 

He was born in the snow, the ice and the cold. He is frozen from his heart to his soul and he wonders if he will ever thaw.

 

(His arm hurts-)

 

His hands both feel like ice, his metal limb cannot be touch until he has thawed from cryo completely, and even after it is not recommended to be touched.

 

His body is wracked with shivers after every thaw, they strap him down so as to not let him hurt himself as the shaking wracked his frame.

 

(His arm is _cold-)_

What is warmth?

 

The Soldier thinks it is something he will never know.

 

They send him on a mission in the snow, and they tell him a team will be with him. They say he is still recovering from his fall. They say they trust him, but they don’t trust his mind.

 

(he doesn’t either.)

 

The Soldier is cussed out by the team multiple times when he is the only one not shivering, complaining about the cold.

 

“Why aren’t you freezing your balls off, _Soldat_?”

 

He doesn’t reply.

 

(His arm is cold-)

 

He doesn’t tell them he doesn’t know anything but the cold. He doesn’t know warmth; he doesn’t know what if feels like to not have every part of him feel frozen and numb.

 

(It hurts-)

 

He completes the mission

 

(He doesn’t shiver.)

 

(Not once.)

 

 

He tells his superiors of his success and they are not pleased.

 

“You left a witness,” they say.

“The child was not the target,” he replies.

                              

(he thought the cold was the worst.)

 

(he was wrong.)

 

(he learns of The Chair.)

 

(his arm-)

 

(what arm?)

 

(he is co-)

 

(what is cold?)

 

(he freezes)

 

(he doesn’t black out)

 

(he wishes-)

 

(…what?)

 

When he wakes, he is told that he had been hit over the head with an enemy agents gun. He is told that short term memory loss is common.

 

“Did I complete the mission?” he asks, and they reply;

 

“Yes, no witnesses,”

 

(why are they smirking…?)

 

They hand him another mission, they say he is to infiltrate a well known but corrupt businessman’s party and kill him without witnesses, without suspicion. He is told that it _must_ look like an accident, no exceptions. Any witnesses are to be held to the same rules.

 

“I will comply.”

 

(the man had fallen down the stairs drunk, the news said, and had taken his lovely young wife with him)

 

(his arm is co-)

 

 

(he returns)

 

(he freezes)

(he does not-)

 

(he wishes-)

 

 

(cold)

 

* * *

 

 

 


End file.
